Yesterday, I watched ESPN 30 for 30 One and Not Done which is about Coach Calipari. Kentucky basketball is one of my three favorite things in the world (frappuccinos and writing) and when I saw my first commercial for this special, I put it in my calendar. I don’t remember what I was doing that day first came out, but I remembered I missed the first 10-15 minutes of this because I was driving home right when it started (because I didn’t put an hour-before reminder, it was just the default 10 minute reminder. If someone know show to change the default, let me know.) And it aired again last night.
The thing about Coach Cal is he is fearless. He is so self-confident and he did end up achieving what he wanted. It took 20 years. My dreams don’t have to take 20 years, though. I can write a novel this month. I can write 50,000 words. They are just words. I have written 50,000 words multiple times (sure, just not in one month.) But it can be done. And I am handwriting this time, because a writing professor told me that handwriting lets your brain be more free and creative compared to typing. I already have my notebook ready, and it has a PERLES DRAGON/ET PHÉNIX AU JASMIN sticker on it. It’s a circle and it’s purple with white font and it’s pretty. I already “Started” the novel earlier which is probably for the best, because why wait, but I will write an additional 50k words in July. I basically wrote the opening scene(s) and then stopped because I was afraid.
But no more fear. All NaNo does it get you in the practice of writing everyday. Or having to make up for not writing every day. It’s a slightly heavy penalty, in a way, depending on how fast you write and how busy you are. Most of us don’t easily have 1-4 hours to spare regularly, but that’s NaNo. Put aside the rest of your life for my real goals: writing.
Here is a Natalie Goldberg quote you have all seen a million times.
This is the practice school of writing. Like running, the more you do it, the better you get at it. Some days you don’t want to run and you resist every step of the three miles, but you do it anyway. You practice whether you want to or not. You don’t wait around for inspiration and a deep desire to run. It’ll never happen, especially if you are out of shape and have been avoiding it. But if you run regularly, you train your mind to cut through or ignore your resistance. You just do it. And in the middle of the run, you love it. When you come to the end, you never want to stop. And you stop, hungry for the next time.
Whenever I see this again, I am guilty. But I want to stop being guilty. I want to really write every day. My problem is I am very “all or nothing” with everything in my life, so it’s so hard for me to “only” write one page a day. Because once I write one page, I want to keep writing, which isn’t really a bad problem to have, unless I have other stuff I need to get done.
But I need to stop being afraid of committing to myself and my dream. So what if I spent one or two hours writing? That’s amazing. That’s really good. There is literally nothing wrong with that. Everything else can wait. And I can’t sleep well anyway. If I sleep well for one or two days, my body doesn’t let me sleep for two more days to make up for it. My body was literally designed to not sleep, or make bad/suboptimal decisions that basically include writing whenever I want because my other engagements can wait.
So, I have decided to do Camp NaNo because I have a novel idea and I need to write a novel. What other reasons could I possibly need?